Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
