My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
