Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize