tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
