Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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