do herpes really smell.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
