Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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