a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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