i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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