Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
