If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
