I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
