Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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