remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
