she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
