Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
