census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
