also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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