so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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