So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
