Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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