As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Barsexuality is the new black.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
