Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Randomize