The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
