Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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