This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
