dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
