I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
