I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Can you bring me the toilet please
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
