Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
