I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize