And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
