Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
