when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
