I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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