when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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