Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
