I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize