it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
