This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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