she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
