My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
