She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Your cock deserves a montage
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
