Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
