Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
