btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
