Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
