I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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