I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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