You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
