He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
