In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
