dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
