god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
