I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
