Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize