We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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