small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize