I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
