you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
